A Baltimore Love Thing~ 50 Cent

She loves me, she loves me not
Yeah she loves me not

The fiends need me, I ain't around it, bones ache
Detox, rehab, cold sweat, watch 'em shake
I'm not that genie in a bottle, I'm in a bag
Take one hit, I slide off to the land of the H man

When we first met, I thought you'd never doubt me
Now you tryin' leave me, you'll never live without me
Girl, I'm missin' you, come and see me soon
Tie your arm up, put that lighter under that spoon

Now put that needle to ya arm princess, stick it in
Relapse you fat bitch, don't ever try that again
All that shit I did for you, I made you feel good
We have a love thing, you treatin' this like it's just a fling

What we have is more sacred than a vow or a ring
You broke my heart, you dirty bitch I won't forget what you did
If you give birth, I'll already be in love with your kids
Listen, I don't give a damn if your ass start smokin'
But we have a bond and it's not to be broken

We got a love thing where you try to leave me
But you need me, can't you see you're addicted to me?
We got a love thing, I can take you higher girl
Fuckin' with me, you can be all you can be

We got a love thing where you try to leave me
But you need me, can't you see you're addicted to me?
We got a love thing, I can take you higher girl
Fuckin' with me, you can be all you can be

Baby you know, on the low your sister be eyein' me
I'm good lookin', so you know, sure she be tryin' me
I heard she bisexual, she fuck with that girl
But boy, oh boy, fuckin' wit me is a whole 'nother world

After that first night, she fall in love, then chased a feelin'
I hung out with Marvin when he wrote 'Sexual Healing'
Kurt Cobain even good friends, Ozzy Osbourne too
I be with rock stars, see you lucky I'm fuckin' with you

I chill with Frankie Lyman and Jimmy Hendrix crew
See this is new to you, but to me this ain't new
I live a lavished life, listen if the mood is right
Me, you, and your sister can do the do tonight

I never steer you wrong, you're hyper I make ya calm
I be the incentive and reason for you to move forward
Let's make a date, promise me you'll come and see me
Even if it means you have to sell ya mama's TV
I love you, love me back, no one said lovin' me'd be easy

We got a love thing where you try to leave me
But you need me, can't you see you're addicted to me?
We got a love thing, I can take you higher girl
Fuckin' with me, you can be all you can be

We got a love thing where you try to leave me
But you need me, can't you see you're addicted to me?
We got a love thing, I can take you higher girl
Fuckin' with me, you can be all you can be

I love you, I got you barefooted on glass, chasin' a dove
That monkey on your back, symbolizes my love
Your friends talk bad about me bitch, you sit there and listen to 'em
Over and over you hurt me, my love is unconditional

They talk to you when you up, you down they got nothin' to say
But when you call, I'll come runnin', I'll always take the pain away
They set you up, to let you down, they crowned you prom queen
Fiddle about me behind your back, they call you a fuckin' fiend

Can we just be alone, so I can kiss and hug you?
Plus me beside you, no other man can loves you like I do
Call me daddy, I'll make you feel good, I mean real good
I found pleasure in pleasin' you, like a real man should

It was written long before, it was carved in a tree
Forever me and you baby we were meant to be
There's more to life than laughter, what brought us together was fate
And we'll be hand in hand, when you walk through those Pearly Gates
And to see to that, I'ma do whatever it takes

We got a love thing where you try to leave me
But you need me, can't you see you're addicted to me?
We got a love thing, I can take you higher girl
Fuckin' with me, you can be all you can be

We got a love thing where you try to leave me
But you need me, can't you see you're addicted to me?
We got a love thing, I can take you higher girl
Fuckin' with me, you can be all you can be

Heroin Poetry

I miss again...
Dammit!
When will I finally feel it?
Shadows dance around me,
But they are not my own.
I'm tired.
I'm too tired for this.

Finally, success!
Pinprick.
Dancing in the dark.
A smile is painted across my face.
What a face it is, a wretched face.
Face the desperation that lies ahead....
Orgasm, screaming vultures. 

Today's Agenda

Call James-fully try and wake up and try to ignore those two I am still forced to live with. You know, I've been in this area for a while and I haven't see the area or gone shopping. I eventually really want to get on that.

Heroin News of the Day= New hope for addicts

http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html

School of Pharmacy faculty member Christopher R. McCurdy has made it his mission to find and develop compounds to unlock the shackles that bind people to addictive drugs. "A lot of people who become addicted to methamphetamine, cocaine or even heroin truly want to quit," McCurdy said. "They begin with recreational use and don't think they will become addicted, but (they) soon get to the point where they almost must take the drug to survive, because withdrawal is so intense." Making withdrawal more endurable – and therefore, cessation more likely – is the goal of several projects in McCurdy's medicinal chemistry laboratory. Among them is a National Institutes of Health Centers of Biomedical Research Excellence-funded study of kratom, a botanical mixture derived from Mitragyna speciosa, a treelike plant native to Southeast Asia. (COBRE grants are awarded by the NIH's National Institute of General Medical Sciences through its Institutional Development Award, or IDeA, program, which builds research capabilities in states that historically have had low levels of NIH funding.)

Read more at: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html#jCp

School of Pharmacy faculty member Christopher R. McCurdy has made it his mission to find and develop compounds to unlock the shackles that bind people to addictive drugs. "A lot of people who become addicted to methamphetamine, cocaine or even heroin truly want to quit," McCurdy said. "They begin with recreational use and don't think they will become addicted, but (they) soon get to the point where they almost must take the drug to survive, because withdrawal is so intense." Making withdrawal more endurable – and therefore, cessation more likely – is the goal of several projects in McCurdy's medicinal chemistry laboratory. Among them is a National Institutes of Health Centers of Biomedical Research Excellence-funded study of kratom, a botanical mixture derived from Mitragyna speciosa, a treelike plant native to Southeast Asia. (COBRE grants are awarded by the NIH's National Institute of General Medical Sciences through its Institutional Development Award, or IDeA, program, which builds research capabilities in states that historically have had low levels of NIH funding.)

Read more at: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html#jCp

School of Pharmacy faculty member Christopher R. McCurdy has made it his mission to find and develop compounds to unlock the shackles that bind people to addictive drugs. "A lot of people who become addicted to methamphetamine, cocaine or even heroin truly want to quit," McCurdy said. "They begin with recreational use and don't think they will become addicted, but (they) soon get to the point where they almost must take the drug to survive, because withdrawal is so intense." Making withdrawal more endurable – and therefore, cessation more likely – is the goal of several projects in McCurdy's medicinal chemistry laboratory. Among them is a National Institutes of Health Centers of Biomedical Research Excellence-funded study of kratom, a botanical mixture derived from Mitragyna speciosa, a treelike plant native to Southeast Asia. (COBRE grants are awarded by the NIH's National Institute of General Medical Sciences through its Institutional Development Award, or IDeA, program, which builds research capabilities in states that historically have had low levels of NIH funding.)

Read more at: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html#jCp

January 28, 2013 by Barbara Lago in Addiction It doesn't take a rocket scientist to quickly grasp what a University of Mississippi professor's research could mean to the millions of people addicted to hardcore narcotics such as heroin, cocaine, methamphetamine and morphine.

Read more at: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html#jCp

January 28, 2013 by Barbara Lago in Addiction It doesn't take a rocket scientist to quickly grasp what a University of Mississippi professor's research could mean to the millions of people addicted to hardcore narcotics such as heroin, cocaine, methamphetamine and morphine.

Read more at: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html#jCp

January 28, 2013 by Barbara Lago in Addiction It doesn't take a rocket scientist to quickly grasp what a University of Mississippi professor's research could mean to the millions of people addicted to hardcore narcotics such as heroin, cocaine, methamphetamine and morphine.

Read more at: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html#jCp

January 28, 2013 by Barbara Lago in Addiction It doesn't take a rocket scientist to quickly grasp what a University of Mississippi professor's research could mean to the millions of people addicted to hardcore narcotics such as heroin, cocaine, methamphetamine and morphine.

Read more at: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html#jCp

In desperate need of $$$

Well this just takes the cake. This shit is ridiculous. I'm out of money. How the hell did that happen?? Well, what do you think? I'm totally depleted. It's as if my money is totally-well-it isn't as if, it IS true that I'm poor. Piss poor-fucking sucks. All because of drugs, well shit and you know, you think I'd be a rich bitch with all these things I'm doing for James and his company-the movie and the calendar and other shit but NO-NO well, I just have really bad spending habits. He doesn't pay me THAT much you know. Where else did it go? Where is all my new stuff?? hell if I know!

Salt Lake City Stalker

I'm pretty sure it's linked to someone viewing my blog but thy also tried to get into my email. Not cool! You look like an idiot!

Recommended Reading

Heroin-related fiction and non fiction books recommended by me-

*Heroin by Julie O'Toole (May 8, 2008)-Julie grew up in the heart of Dublin’s north inner city, in Sheriff Street. Living in this tough area, she was exposed to crime and drugs. She started using heroin when she was 16. By the time she was 18 she was a chronic addict. This story details how she spent the next four years living on the streets of Dublin; dealing drugs and stealing to feed her habit. It is a snapshot of how a young girl became a victim of circumstances. It happened in Dublin, but it could have happened anywhere in the world. Her life was saved by a chance encounter with a drugs counsellor who brought her to first to London, and then to America where she de-toxed and slowly began to rebuild her life.

*BOOKS BY TONY O'NEILL=

Digging the Vein's= unnamed narrator has a problem: He has a burgeoning drug habit and a wife he's only known for two days, but no job, no money, and no way out. As the narrator's life crumbles, the pills, booze, and problems multiply until he hits on a brilliant solution: heroin. Soon the narrator is associating with a cabal of street freaks. Just as the comedy is piling up, things go sour, making Digging the Vein a brutal look at a self-destructed, marginal life.

Down and Out on Murder Mile=After exhausting their resources in the slums of Los Angeles, a junkie and his wife settle in London's "murder mile," the city's most violent and criminally corrupt section. Persevering past failed treatments, persistent temptation, urban ennui, and his wife's ruinous death wish, the nameless narrator fights to reclaim his life. 

SICK CITY=Meet Jeffrey and Randal, two desperate junkies and your guides on this top-to-bottom fun-house tour of Hollywood's underbelly. From infamous crime scenes to celebrity treatment centers, Sick City is an outrageous page-turning adventure set in the sun-bleached wilds of LA. 

*The Heroin Diaries:  Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star by Nikki Sixx (Sep 18, 2007)-

In one of the most unique memoirs of addiction ever published, Mötley Crüe's Nikki Sixx shares mesmerizing diary entries from the year he spiraled out of control in a haze of heroin and cocaine, presented alongside riveting commentary from people who were there at the time, and from Nikki himself.When Mötley Crüe was at the height of its fame, there wasn't any drug Nikki Sixx wouldn't do. He spent days -- sometimes alone, sometimes with other addicts, friends, and lovers -- in a coke and heroin-fueled daze. The highs were high, and Nikki's journal entries reveal some euphoria and joy. But the lows were lower, often ending with Nikki in his closet, surrounded by drug paraphernalia and wrapped in paranoid delusions.

*Beauty Queen by  Linda Glovach-creates a likable, believable character in Samantha: we recognize her humanity as a girl genuinely troubled by her mother's alcoholism (as well as by her mom's lascivious boyfriend); we feel the unconditional love she harbors for her diabetic Maine coon cat; we shake our heads as her greed for money and flippant attitude about her addiction cause Sam to make naive decisions. As Sam spirals further downward--still unaware of how far gone she really is, even though she can't complete a journal entry without shooting up--readers will feel the remorse of what could have been, and may learn a valuable lesson in the processteenager, writing in her diary about an ex-boyfriend: "I will never fall in love again, never, ever! Why is life so cruel? Why do people like to hurt each other?" But a mere three months later--after moving into her own apartment, taking a job as a topless dancer, and becoming addicted to heroin--her tone takes on that of a grizzled drug abuser: "I've been shooting in my bony hip area... toward my groin, so no one can detect the needle points on my rear when I wear my G-string, and I'm getting terribly numb there." Samantha's story is told entirely in the form of her journal entries, which vividly reflect this young woman's rapid descent into the seedy world of addiction. Author Linda Glovach creates a likable, believable character in Samantha: we recognize her humanity as a girl genuinely troubled by her mother's alcoholism (as well as by her mom's lascivious boyfriend); we feel the unconditional love she harbors for her diabetic Maine coon cat; we shake our heads as her greed for money and flippant attitude about her addiction cause Sam to make naive decisions. As Sam spirals further downward--still unaware of how far gone she really is, even though she can't complete a journal entry without shooting up--readers will feel the remorse of what could have been, and may learn a valuable lesson in the process.

Beauty Queen by Linda Glovach (Sep 19, 1998)

Beauty Queen by Linda Glovach (Sep 19, 1998)

Beauty Queen by Linda Glovach (Sep 19, 1998)

Beauty Queen by Linda Glovach (Sep 19, 1998)

Beauty Queen by Linda Glovach (Sep 19, 1998)Beauty Queen by Linda Glovach.