I had to get out of the strip club, I just had to do it. I got a job at a clothing store, a little boutique and I know they won't test me because-well, actually the store belongs to a pin up model in the area and I know for sure that she does cocaine and she knows I do heroin so I know she won't bother testing me so I don't have to worry. I'm still hanging around the same people but I know I'm in a better environment and state of mind if I don't strip anymore. I had such a shitty day yesterday. Well, on Friday I hung out with Zach. Then on Saturday I rested for most of the day, worked at the club at night and then on Sunday I totally zoned out, slept all damn day, high as hell and I just let it happen.
I actually found out that some other patient's at my rehab that are more well known went to Hollywood this weekend for a movie premiere. One of the counselor's had his movie premiere and a few people that I went to rehab with went to support him. That's why I miss being in LA-for the fun times like that. I am mentioning this because I got invited-they didn't know I left LA-and I had to break down and tell one of them that I ran away, started using again and now am in Seattle. Surely they weren't too happy about it but you know what, I gotta do what I gotta do-what I think I have to do anyway. I'm glad for them though. They are getting their name out there and getting known as actors. I think that's why they went on that show anyway, to be seen, of course. I can't blame them. Heck, it's why I chose to go to that rehab in the first place!
So I got this new job at a respectful place with some what respectful people and I feel good about that. I really feel like going to the library or book store just to get out. I'm just going to finish doing this big fat shot and then I'll be on my way!
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