So as of last week I quit using heroin. So I guess you could say that I'm about 7 or so days sober. I'm glad about it, it was my choice. It was a choice I pondered over for the last month honestly. There aren't really any pros to staying on it, and I knew I had to get out of the lifestyle and out of the environment for good...only issue is that Rob is not interested in quitting for himself. I should know this by now-that you cannot make another addict quit if they don't want to on their own. Obviously I know this because my family and friends have been wanting me to quit for a long time and the choice had to be mine in the end. I don't know if or when I'll go back. All I know is that I'm happy quitting today. I brought the idea to Rob of quitting and I'm not gonna force anything. He knows his life isn't going anywhere...and he knows the consequences and issues related so I can't do anything about it.
I've been looking back at all I've been through, the places I've been, what's been going on.....it's just not a pretty sight. It's super easy to go back..and I know that Rob won't mind giving me a couple-but not entirely for free. With him, I always have to pay in one way, shape, or form-sex, money, stealing, etc...whatever it is, if he gives me one, I have to do something in return. Just like if I get him to buy it for me, he gets one for free just for going out and getting it...that's the rules of the street, plain and simple. Why do I bother staying with him anyway? Oh, I don't even want to get into that one-well, look, with quitting, if I really stay out of this for good, I have to leave Baltimore, which I really don't want to do. I guess everything will be figured out in the end.
Tons of issues are going on with Darrel and the girls he's around. Things are happening with Rob and the messes he is getting himself into. I don't need or want to be a part of that.
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