Wednesday, September 4, 2013

Its been such a long, long time

My last real post was back in April. That was a long time ago. 5 months ago to be exact. So many things have been going on since then, as you can imagine. Let's start with the most obvious. I'm back to using again. No surprise there right? Well maybe I shouldn't say it like that but hey, what else can I say? Part of the reason I abandoned this blog was simply for 2 reasons-using once again became my obsession and 2 I forgot my password- funny yes! So now that I logged back in here again, I figured it was only fair that I start posting my whereabouts.
Yes, I am in Baltimore still. I can't say my exact location but I am on Baltimore Street. Somehow I feel safer living in a tourist area, even if there are only strip clubs and bars around, but I just...am used to those surroundings unfortunately.
As for Rob, he is still in the game too. I think he quit for a little while but started up again. I even started hanging around Darrell again. It's difficult to ignore the crowd if all you want to do is be around that stuff.

Somehow I don't feel like I'm as bad as I was....if that makes any sense. I guess I just feel better having opened up this blog again. I feel like I finally have a place to share my feelings and what's been going on with me again.

Tuesday, April 16, 2013

Other Blogs that 'That Guy's On Heroin' Recommends

Recommended Reading

These blogs get the “That Guy’s On Heroin” seal of approval. I’m sure after a lot of deep thought and soul searching they can find out where they went wrong…
Baltimore:
Charm City Vacancy
Fells Point HonThe City that Breeds
Funny:
Least Helpful
What Does Lindsay Lohan Do All Day

New from That Guy's On Heroin!

Location: Hampden and 29th St., Baltimore, MD
Rating: Honorable Mention
Description: Sure, Baltimore’s nursing homes aren’t as cushy as those in “functional” cities in America, but our seniors are too fuckin’ hardcore for bingo and Jello cups.
--
Location: Pacific Beach, San Diego, California
Rating: 3.1/5
Description: This comes all the way from the west coast where my readers tell the heroin isn’t worth a damn. After learning about their plight I automatically give all west coast submissions a few extra points because getting blasted on weak-junk takes extra dedication. In Baltimore I can slip in Leakin park and be smacked up for days on all the loose syringes, but in the west coast I guess it would like trying to smashed off near-beer.
Well, this guy did it… and after all that work he didn’t get the recognition I feel he deserved. The submitter sent the following caption explaining the hard times of our try-hard friend:
He is legit passed out on a railing…he was also arrested an hour later. damn heroin..
Fucking southern California, what’s wrong with doping yourself to near extinction and taking a power nap across a handrail on a beautiful day? I bet he wasn’t arrested by the cops but by the home owners association for lowering their property value.
--
Location: Baltimore, MD
Rating: 3.9/5
Description: This gem came with the following awesome caption:

Was juuuust about to drive home but decided to have a snack first.
Took off some points for the lean against the car, but gave some back for doing it like a pimp. This lean is hardcore, most other cities would do serious snoozing like this horizontal, but Baltimore don’t roll like that and this guy is showcasing our talent nicely.

Two Steps forward, three steps back

So as of last week I quit using heroin. So I guess you could say that I'm about 7 or so days sober. I'm glad about it, it was my choice. It was a choice I pondered over for the last month honestly. There aren't really any pros to staying on it, and I knew I had to get out of the lifestyle and out of the environment for good...only issue is that Rob is not interested in quitting for himself. I should know this by now-that you cannot make another addict quit if they don't want to on their own. Obviously I know this because my family and friends have been wanting me to quit for a long time and the choice had to be mine in the end. I don't know if or when I'll go back. All I know is that I'm happy quitting today. I brought the idea to Rob of quitting and I'm not gonna force anything. He knows his life isn't going anywhere...and he knows the consequences and issues related so I can't do anything about it.
I've been looking back at all I've been through, the places I've been, what's been going on.....it's just not a pretty sight. It's super easy to go back..and I know that Rob won't mind giving me a couple-but not entirely for free. With him, I always have to pay in one way, shape, or form-sex, money, stealing, etc...whatever it is, if he gives me one, I have to do something in return. Just like if I get him to buy it for me, he gets one for free just for going out and getting it...that's the rules of the street, plain and simple. Why do I  bother staying with him anyway? Oh, I don't even want to get into that one-well, look, with quitting, if I really stay out of this for good, I have to leave Baltimore, which I really don't want to do. I guess everything will be figured out in the end.
Tons of issues are going on with Darrel and the girls he's around. Things are happening with Rob and the messes he is getting himself into. I don't need or want to be a part of that.

Monday, April 8, 2013

Addict Drama

So Rob is pissed at one of his friends, that guy Jeff. Turns out that Jeff bought $500.00 worth of crack from Darrell and shacked up for 2 days with this stripper Tanya, Darrel's "fuck buddy"-Jeff was with this Tanya woman, locked up in a motel for these two days with the $500.00 worth of crack-and then the kicker and the reason that Darrell is mad at Jeff is because Jeff blamed Darrell, trying to make it look like Darrell was forcing him to buy that much crack.....bullshit! That was Jeff's choice to blow all that money on crack and go be with that woman-if anything, Darrell was trying to stop Jeff from buying that much crack at once! So, Jeff's an idiot...and Rob's pissed...so am I!

Thursday, April 4, 2013

Going Well

Nothing new to report. I just got back from near N Baltimore with Rob for our usual pick up. We have a new routine with this new dealer now. We met this new guy, Dave, at one of the club on The Block, as people around here know the area as. We have this new system now. Dave works as a door man for on of the strip clubs but he lives north, and sells out of his house. We go up there, if he isn't working, and he already has something ready. He never seems to come up short. Rob knew him a while back when he used to be a doorman for one of the clubs. So, it's a lot easier than waiting around in parking lots, calling whomever seems ready and available. Saves a couple of hours honestly.

Monday, April 1, 2013

My blog causes my arrest!

I was with Rob up in our usual buying spot this weekend and guess what happens? This guys comes up to me and asks if I am the one that writes the Scarlett blog-uh yea......oops..pop! The cops come zooming around the corner coming from the Johns Hopkins area. so, yea, I was pretty pissed off needless to say. The cops took me to the station, Rob ended up running the other way that idiot......The cops questioned me and my blog here-shit, what was I gonna say? It's fiction...well, it's not. It's the old me, no I'm still doing it, clearly. It's some other girl, um, I just admitted that this is my blog to an undercover cop......shit, I'm caught. So yea, that was my weekend kiddies. They let me out a few hours later since I didn't have any heroin on me, thankfully!
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
APRIL FOOLS!!!!!!!!!! hahahaha

Tuesday, March 26, 2013

Happenings

I came across a guy the other day up near Loyola University named Chester who was in desperate need of a fix and didn't have much money. This was when me and Rob were looking for a new connect in that area. What I did for that guy seemed so out of character for me, the selfish addict, I gave him 10 bucks to help him out a little. He told me he sleeps on the park benches between York Road and sometimes near the Inner Harbor, doesn't have anywhere to live, spends every last penny on heroin, and finds left over food in trash cans behind restaurants and places. That's how this guy has been living for 10 years, so I felt the need to do a good deed for this guy- I guess because I never think I'd end up that way- and I wouldn't because I always have people to take care of me, always have some place to go. Of course Rob didn't care to help him out, but that's understandable since Rob's struggling, but not that badly.
After I gave the guy the money, he gave us the number of the guy he buys from in the North Baltimore areas.
We had to find a new connect for that area because Darrell is no longer looking too promising ever since we got mad at him for allowing some street walkers to take over Dre's place, for free mind you-and it didn't sit well with us. Anyway, so, after me and Rob parted ways with Chester, we took the bus back down to the Inner Harbor to check out the action around there. I remember Dre would ride his bike around and sell around the Inner Harbor area.  I really miss him.

So today we are taking it easy. We are almost finished with the $180 amount of heroin we bought off of Chester's dealer, Marco. [$180; $60 for me, $60 for Rob]. It's been getting harder to get to and from places to buy something since it's still so cold here, and it's snowy. But I'm sure you all know that the weather doesn't stop us. ;)

Thursday, March 21, 2013

north avenue, rutland ave- new area

Rutland Ave, Baltimore, MD so this is the new area that Rob was telling me about, North Avenue and Rutland Ave. This is the only are at this point where there is anything good around. It's dwindling and it sucks!

'Get Up Here Quick'

Okay, so I just got a text from a friend...it read 'Get up here quick!' ..Here as in his place I'm guessing. I asked, 'Why, what's going on?' Could it be he is so excited to share some of his new heroin? Or could it be the police grilling this guy to give up names or else he gets longer time in jail? You just never know.

The one thing I have learned when communicating with other addicts and dealers is that you always have to watch your back, protect yourself, and always, always question everyone and everything. You never know when someone is trying to set you up. That's just the truth and everyone knows it. So I"m just sitting here waiting for his reply. See, the adventures never end in this type of lifestyle.

Why do I promote That Guy's On Heroin?

I know a lot of you have seen my posts re-posting blog entries from the site 'That Guy's On Heroin'. I do it for fun, pure entertainment. Plus I get a chance to see the area I live in-hey why not! And it's in relating to the topic of my blog here, right?
Shout Out to the creator of 'That Guy's On Heroin'- why don't you promote mind, or at least mention it?
xxxxx
Anyway, so, for today, here is the latest post from the blog that I enjoy frequenting, 'That Guy's On Heroin'!
Location: Baltimore, MD
Rating: 2.7/5
Description: I posted this one today in response to the “White in Philly” article which describes racial tensions in the city of brotherly love. Apparently, Philly is losing a majority white population for the first time, and to celebrate the event Philadelphia Magazine decided to reiterate that absolutely ever race in Philly despises the other, and just in case that wasn’t clear enough, got quotes from people living in Philly to put that on the record.
I’m really happy for Philly for finally putting into words the reason I find Baltimore a much more enjoyable place to live. Sure we may be 104% poor, minority, uneducated, drug fiends, but at least we’re not stupid enough to get quoted by a local magazine about how we hate people of different races or creed.
Sure, we all hate morons who steal stuff, play with guns, sell drugs (except to our submissions!), etc, etc. Except in Baltimore we hate the person, not the race. I really hope this blog has taught you that it’s not one particular race which is littering the city with unsightly (but strangely awesome) heroin zombies, but rather a racially unifying desire to chase that blast to whatever bus stop or needle filled alley it may bring you.
This picture of an elderly man patiently waiting for the bus next to a passed out junkie shows that even though they may be worlds apart in both race and blood toxicity level, people in Baltimore are willing to come together and generally get along despite our differences on the outside.



Rob Out of Jail, Dre's House Taken Over

So let me tell you all whats been going on....First, Rob got out of jail yesterday so that's good. Now he's back living with me and actually-he's currently using as I type this to you all. Well, so we found out whats been going on at Dre's house. Before he died he was living about 30 minutes north of Johns Hopkins, near North Avenue. Anyway, so when Rob was in jail, he got word in there by someone that used to know Dre that some hookers are renting Dre's place now. So that's interesting- but that's not all. Turns out that when 3 or so girls that worked the Block for a while, you know, where all those strip clubs are,  they found an ad that was run by Darrell that Dre's house is for rent and off they went to check out the place. Sure, I guess those girls have every right to do that, but I don't want to get involved in that crap every time me and Rob go over to Darrell's house.
Darrell lives in the basement of Dre's house and so we would have to see those girls every time me an Rob want to get something from Darrell. I just don't like that. That's where the real trouble is- those girls, all of those girls that well, they aren't working on the Block anymore-so I can't even say they work for a company, not that those places follow the rules-I'm saying that they work strictly on the street, between North Avenue and off of York Rd, near that Mc Donald's.And from what you all have been reading in my past posts, you know that I frequent those areas when I'm looking for something. Just not the kind of people I want to be around. I'm really not trying to get back into that line of work.

My picture

I'm contemplating posting my photo on here. I'm not sure if I have ever done that before. I don't think it's a very wise thing to do but, eh I don't know...I just am noticing all the viewers my page is getting and has been getting over the months and I'm sure some of you would like to know who I really am, how I look. I'll think about it. What do you all think?

Monday, March 18, 2013

Autobio

I read my old autobiography I wrote a while back when I first went to an AA meeting and I got teamed up with this woman that wanted to be my sponsor. Very interesting......

Today on thatguysonheroin.com!

Location: Baltimore, MD
Rating: 3.6/5
Date: March 15
Description: The caption I got with this is almost better than the picture… the exact caption I received read:
Don’t you remember doing “Cherry Pickers” as a warm up exercise in gym class? Around 5th grade? Obviously, 5th grade were the 4 hardest years of this person’s life.
I’m submitting this on behalf of a friend who doesn’t have the balls to submit it himself…. jackass.
Not only does the description of the leaner bring back fond memories of “flick-a-ball”, but anyone who describes their friends like that has a position waiting for them at TGOH anytime they’re ready.
This is a great pic, although I have admit, initially I thought this woman was just picking up some change to help pay for the other half of her dye job which she has on layaway.

 http://thatguysonheroin.com/
Location: Baltimore, MD
Rating: 2.7/5
Date: March 13
Description: There’s something you don’t see every day… Boston Market! I could have sworn those all went out of business in the mid 90’s due to people realizing that there is absolutely no relation between New England and rotisserie chicken. In fact, when I think of New England cuisine the only food that comes to mind are giant insects pulled directly from the ocean, boiled with no seasoning at all and - if you’re lucky - dipped in butter. Boston, if you’re reading this, two words for you guys which will change your life: Old Bay.
The fact that it’s in the same plaza as a Radio Shack shows that Baltimore is, in fact, still firmly entrenched in the 80s. I’d be willing to bet that one could buy a slap bracelet in that York Rd strip-mall if they were so inclined…
The passed out guy on the street-corner is also firmly entrenched in the 80’s with his sweet Swatch and hot red pants. Points off for not wearing knee socks pulled up with the two bands at the top like all the cool kids.
I have to admit it’s a decent lean even though he’s seated. It reminds me of the yoga guy sketch with Will Farrell - this guy is so close!

Heroin Help

Heroin Help. Heroin Helpline Heroin addiction is a very destructive disease that lives, destroys families, careers, and takes over people's lives.

www.heroinhelp.com

Where have I been?

Well things certainly have been interesting. Man, I don't even know how to say this. Rob got locked up by Baltimore Co police last week so I'm on my own...not for a long time but it still feels that way. We were on our usual run-the only good stuff no is around and North Avenue and the police are there all the time, it's always hot but we were sick and needed something and so I sent him out to get us some and he got popped. The stuff around the Old Town Mall/ Hopkins area is shit now...same prices but shit quality. So he needs to make bail and get out so we can keep this going. I got the call from him in jail and I had to go out on my own around the Mall area with my last $50.00 and get whatever they had selling there just to keep me. It just really sucks and it hurt and it tears my heart out knowing he is back in the system. He hasn't even been doing heroin as much. He has been just using the Suboxone recently because that's just $5.00 and it keeps you higher longer.

I'll keep you all posted!

Running around, without a soul...

I'm running around
Without a soul
No higher ground
No hand to hold.

I'm running around
From side to side
I'm running away
But you don't understand.

Down, down, down we fall
Higher and higher we go
All around the breeze is gone
Where do we go from here?
What do I do with my fear?

Tuesday, March 12, 2013

Calhoun & Mosher, Old Stomping Ground

It has been many months since I have been to this area. We got desperate enough.  Well I know that Rob doesn't entirely fear going there to buy but I still do.

Baltimore area NA meetings

I know this seems strange but I just found this and wanted to share it. Maybe I'll go someday......

http://www.drugstrategies.org/NA-Meetings/Maryland/Baltimore/

Arnolia United Methodist Church
1776 East Joppa Road
Number of Meetings: 2
Baltimore City Community College
2901 Liberty Heights Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
Baltmoral Towers
6800 Liberty Raod
Number of Meetings: 1
Bethesda United Methodist Church
6300 Harford Road
Number of Meetings: 2
Broadway Group
244 South Broadway
Number of Meetings: 1
Burgess House
1847 North Gay Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Caring & Sharing Group
1051 West Saratoga Street
Number of Meetings: 2
Changing Point
4808 Harford Road
Number of Meetings: 1
Chariots of Fire Mission Ministries
2506 East Preston Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
Christ United Methodist Church
2005 East Chase Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Church Hall
101 North Potomax Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
Church of the Guardian Angel
West 27th Street and Huntington St
Number of Meetings: 2
Church on the Rock
900 Church Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Coldstream Park Recreation Center
1401 Filmore Street
Number of Meetings: 3
Collington Recreation Center
1500 North Patterson Park Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
Crossroads Center
2100 North Charles Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Dees Place
2222 East Jefferson Street
Number of Meetings: 5
Do the Right Thing Now Group
1407 North Milton Avenue
Number of Meetings: 6
Dundalk Free Methodist Church
1415 Vesper Avenue
Number of Meetings: 2
Ebeneezer AME Church
20 W Montgomery Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Emmanuel Lutheran Church
3101 East Baltimore Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Epoch Counseling Center
7701 A Dunman Way
Number of Meetings: 4
Family Developement Center
201 Aiguisth Street
Number of Meetings: 4
First Flag Projects
110 South Exeter Street
Number of Meetings: 2
First Presbyterian Church
210 West Madison Avenue
Number of Meetings: 2
Franciscan Center
101 West 23rd Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Getting Honest Group
2334 Penns Avenue
Number of Meetings: 3
Good Samaritan Hospital
5601 Loch Raven Boulevard
Number of Meetings: 2
Growing Up In Canton Group
244 South Broadway
Number of Meetings: 1
Health Care For the Homeless
111 Park Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
Help has Arrived Group
1214 West Saratoga Street
Number of Meetings: 2
High Noon Group
Lombard Street
Number of Meetings: 2
Holy Cross Church
433 Millington Avenue
Number of Meetings: 2
Hope Tabernacle
2306-10 Fulton Avenue
Number of Meetings: 3
House of Freedom
1017 East Baltimore Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Immanuel Baptist Church
5050 Bucks Schoolhouse Road
Number of Meetings: 1
International Longshoremen
900 Oldham Street
Number of Meetings: 1
John Eager Howard Recreation Center
2100 Brookfield Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
Last Stop Group
1900 North East Ave
Number of Meetings: 1
Liberty Recreation Center
3901 Maine Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
Macedonia Baptist Church
718 West Lafayette Avenue
Number of Meetings: 3
Marish Chruch
1024 Decker Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
Mary Rednen Recreational Center
3710 Mulberry
Number of Meetings: 1
Maryland Rehabilitation Center
2301 Argonne Drive
Number of Meetings: 1
Mattic B Uzzle Outreach Center
1211 North Chester Street
Number of Meetings: 3
Mercy Medical Center
301 Saint Paul Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Mount Olive Branch Church
2 West Fort Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
Mount Zion Baptist Church
2000 East Belvedere Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
NCIA YIT School
7205 Rutherford Road
Number of Meetings: 1
New Genesis Total Praise Center
5807 Moravia Road
Number of Meetings: 2
New Home Group
76 South Popleton Street
Number of Meetings: 2
New Hope Group
North Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
New Waverly Church
644 East 33rd Street
Number of Meetings: 3
North Point Baptist Church
4201 North Point Boulevard
Number of Meetings: 1
Now I Can See Group
2500 West Lombard Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Our Lady of Pompei Church
224 South Conkling Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Parkside United Methodist Church
4400 Parkside Drive
Number of Meetings: 1
Patterson Park Recreation Center
2501 Baltimore Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Perkins Square Baptist Church
2500 Edmondson Avenue
Number of Meetings: 2
Reach & Teach Group
1114 North Mount Street
Number of Meetings: 2
Recovery Chasers Group
1530 East Fort Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
Recovery Club
4121 East Lombard Street
Number of Meetings: 10
Recovery is Your Resp. Group
1001 South Monroe
Number of Meetings: 4
Restoration Ecclesiastes Church
1249 East North Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
Rutland Center
1700 East Ledwel
Number of Meetings: 1
Saint Bernadines
600 Mount Holly Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Saint Francis Xavier Church
1501 East Oliver Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Saint James Episcopal Church
205 South Augusta Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
Saint Martin Church of Christ
2118 North Madison Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
Serenity Shop
244 South Broadway
Number of Meetings: 1
Sheppard Pratt Hospital
6501 North Charles Street
Number of Meetings: 5
Shrine of The Little Flower Church
Belair Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Sisters With Serenity Group
3127 East Baltimore Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Stand For Something Group
525 Caroline Street
Number of Meetings: 3
Step into the Door Group
219 North Chester Street
Number of Meetings: 2
Steps Group
1846 North Gay Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Temple Baptist Church
1800 North Wolfe Street
Number of Meetings: 2
The Carrington House
3500 Clifton Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
The Place
4718 Harford Road
Number of Meetings: 3
Time For Change Group
128 West Franklin Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Trinity Episcopal Church
104 West Allegany Avenue
Number of Meetings: 2
Union Memorial Hospital
201 East University Parkway
Number of Meetings: 1
United Evangelical
3200 Dillon Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Unity United Methodist Church
1433 Edmondson Avenue
Number of Meetings: 1
Urban Services Building
1873 North Gay Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Vincent Street Group
122 North Vincent Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Walther Hall
2008 Christian Street
Number of Meetings: 18
We Understand Group
811 West Baltimore Street
Number of Meetings: 2
Wesley Memorial United Methodist
5606 Johnny Cake Road
Number of Meetings: 1
Westport Recreation Center
2343 Norfolk Street
Number of Meetings: 2
What About Me Group
Charles Street
Number of Meetings: 1
Zion Church
Golden Ring Road
Number of Meetings: 1

Baltimore officer pleads guilty to armed drug conspiracy

http://articles.baltimoresun.com/2013-03-11/news/bs-md-ci-police-officer-plea-richburg-20130311_1_kendell-richburg-informant-baltimore-officer

Kendell Richburg faces at least a decade in prison for aiding informant

March 11, 2013|By Justin Fenton, The Baltimore Sun
To rack up arrests and look good for his bosses, Officer Kendell Richburg decided to ensure that his confidential informant could continue dealing drugs and funneling him information.
He paid the unnamed informant with city funds, a standard procedure, but also gave him seized drugs to resell, according to court records. Richburg told the informant about the whereabouts of law enforcement in the Pimlico area where he operated, and the informant would tell Richburg about drug activity.
By looking out for the informant while carrying a service weapon, however, federal prosecutors say Richburg became an armed participant in a drug trafficking conspiracy. On Monday, the 13-year veteran pleaded guilty to two charges and now faces a minimum sentence of 10 years and a maximum of life.
Baltimore prosecutors are reviewing dozens of city cases that involved Richburg to see whether they can move forward.
In court papers, the officer would misrepresent the informant's tips about drug transactions, making it seem that he had personally witnessed them.
"I'll write it up like I saw a hand-to-hand." Richburg, 36, told the informant in one recorded phone conversation about a drug deal.
Assistant U.S. Attorney A. David Copperthite said in court that Richburg, an officer in the unit formerly known as the Violent Crimes Impact Section, was expected as a member of that unit to maintain high numbers of arrests. His attorney, Warren Brown, said that pressure permeates the department and led to his client's criminal conduct.
"I listened to hundreds of hours of wiretapped conversations in the case," said Brown, who also has represented drug clients who allege similar police misconduct. "And I can tell you that if the curtain was pulled back, you would see that his M.O. was standard operating procedure. That's the way a lot of them work, because they're being judged by those numbers."
But authorities rejected any notion that what Richburg did was an expected or tolerable result of internal pressures. U.S. Attorney Rod J. Rosenstein said Richburg's conduct was "treacherous" and harms all police officers. Police Commissioner Anthony W. Batts called his behavior "unacceptable criminal actions that are an affront to the law enforcement profession."
"To justify his actions under the guise of pressure is absurd," said Anthony Guglielmi, the Police Department's chief spokesman.
Janice Bledsoe, a defense attorney who worked as a police misconduct investigator for State's Attorney Gregg L. Bernstein, said such cases raise troubling questions about police work.
"The officer's credibility is often the strength of the case," she said. "How do you disprove a negative — how do you disprove that the officer didn't see what he says he saw? You can't, unless the defendant happens to have some incredible alibi."
Bledsoe says that as such cases come to light, defense attorneys gain greater leverage to question assertions made by officers. During Bledsoe's tenure, the state's attorney's office brought charges against an Eastern District officer accused of lying in a search warrant. And in November, another officer who worked out of Richburg's unit was also charged with lying in a search warrant to raid a Canton home.
The Violent Crimes Impact Section was a unit of plainclothes officers deployed to traditionally high-crime areas. Initially praised as a key part in reducing shootings and homicides, it became a source of complaints about the conduct of some officers. ast year, Batts moved detectives out of the unit and into patrol positions. He also changed its name to the "Zone Enforcement Section" and placed it under the supervision of the patrol division.Brown, Richburg's defense attorney, said his client didn't put drugs on the street for his own profit or shake down dealers.
In a high-profile case last year, Officer Daniel Redd was convicted of dealing drugs out of the parking lot of the Northwestern District station. And several years earlier, officers William King and Antonio Murray were sentenced to hundreds of years in federal prison for robbing drug suspects.
Richburg admitted in his plea, however, that he skimmed some of the department funds that he paid the unidentified informant. The investigation began when the FBI received information that Richburg was selling stolen property. Agents later used a source to purchase goods from Richburg, including iPads and iPhones.
As Richburg conspired with the informant, the two discussed plans to set up innocent people. In one recorded phone call in September 2012, Richburg directed the informant to plant a gun in the vehicle of an unlicensed cabdriver, known as a "hack," so that Richburg could arrest him on a firearms violation, according to court records. Prosecutors said the plot was not carried out.
"You get in a hack and drop the burner in the hack," Richburg was recorded saying, according to his plea agreement. "Get a hack for three blocks. Drop it. We got to think outside the box to get this done." he informant dealt drugs from a parking lot off Park Heights Avenue referred to as the "Panyard," which police have deemed a high drug and violent crime area. On Sept. 4, records show, other officers were zeroing in on the informant, and Richburg sent him a text messages that read: "Get off Belvedere [Avenue] … they on you."
Later, the informant sent him a message: "Its safe for me to come back out[?]"
"Yeah yo you good," Richburg replied, records show.
In another instance, Richburg helped the informant plot a robbery. On Oct. 9, 2012, Richburg searched an unidentified man without probable cause and found between $1,500 and $1,800 in cash, according to court records. The man said that he was an employee of a Popeye's restaurant and the money was from his paycheck. Richburg let him go but suspected he was lying based on his behavior, records show.
He then called the informant and told him about a "[n----] walkin around with 1500 in his pocket."
The next day, the informant robbed the man with a .380 semi-automatic handgun to further the drug conspiracy, prosecutors say.
Brown said that the majority of Richburg's contacts with the informant were about making low-level drug arrests, and that such arrests are a big part of the Police Department's enforcement strategy. "The department will deny that they have quotas, but they do," Brown said. "They grab these guys with one bag of weed, and the quality of the arrest is never scrutinized."
Guglielmi disputed that. He said arrests have plummeted in recent years as police administrations have emphasized quality over quantity. The number of people released without being charged, one indicator of a poor quality arrest, has almost completely evaporated, according to department statistics.
The day prosecutors say Richburg asked the informant to give drugs to a woman so he could write up the arrest, court records show a 52-year-old Gwynn Oak woman was charged with possession of marijuana.
She pleaded not guilty and received a one-year suspended sentence.
jfenton@baltsun.com

Keeping the pace, plans, and futures

Things have been pretty good since we, me and Rob came back to Baltimore. I started the application process at a beauty school- go figure! I can't do this street/strip club thing forever. We actually have been staying at Darrell's house in his basement. He lives near Loyola University. Well, hey, you know it used to be what I did before I got all nutty on this drug and in this hapless world you know....so I already have experience in it so why not try it again? Rob, on the other hand, is working the door at one of the clubs on The Block. The more I'm around him, and the more I see him dive deeper into heroin and this drug world, the more things I see about him that I don't like. I mean, what's to like, if anything? I just wish, for once, that he would try to go after more respectful jobs but how can he when he does this shit day in and day out?

Yeah I do the same thing but I think it also boils down to the simple fact that I have more job experience, a better past-better family, and all of that I know really helps boost you in the right direction..and I know he doesn't have all of that. What was he doing when I first met him? Living either with his mother or with Dre. Come on, what did I expect?! Did I expect anything? Did I come into this friendship with him with any expectations? No, I don't think so. All I wanted, all I was looking at was the heroin he could buy-It wasn't the same with Dre though. It really wasn't. I just want better, so I'm slowly starting to go after it and I know that Rob won't change, can't change- I don't know what his deal is.  I know that he is just so wrapped up in what he is doing that I guess he feels he can't help it, or doesn't think anything will change in his life. But you know, well, I think also he blames his criminal history. That's another thing I know he looks at and it's true, with a criminal jail infested/drug driven life/past he lived, and still is living [even though he just isn't getting caught by the cops these days], he is still living that life and living the risk of getting caught again.


The Latest from That Guy's On Heroin!

Location: Dundalk, MD
Rating: 2.8/5
Description: I’ve been saying this for years, Dundalk will be just fine after Sparrow’s Point shuts down. Case in point with this gentleman, who one of my readers found sleeping on her lawn.
Sure, last year he was probably pulling down $50K at the cold mill, and now he’s homeless, but the people of Dundalk are more than happy to open their lawns to former mill workers in a show of solidarity.
Also, Maryland and Baltimore County are pitching in to provide transition training, where this man can learn how to transition from a solid member of society working towards the progression of the American economy to his new life of constant struggle and destitution where he will learn to weigh the decision of whether his time is best spent on minimum wage or SSI.
I really do like the way the county has handled this entire shutdown process and showed their commitment to the steel mill. I mean it took them almost an entire month before they started talking about razing the mill and redeveloping the waterfront property into condos!

March 8, Mike Starr Memorial Recap

I just wanted to recap the happenings at the Mike Starr Memorial in Seattle, WA. As some/ many of you know, Mike Starr, original bassist of Alice in Chains, died from a drug overdose on March 8, 2011. They set up a memorial for him every year.
 According to Blabbermouth.net, this is what went down at this years event!

http://www.blabbermouth.net/news.aspx?mode=Article&newsitemID=187054

Friends and family of late ALICE IN CHAINS bassist Mike Starr will stage a memorial show to celebrate his life and legacy on March 7 at Seattle’s Studio Seven.

Mike's sister, Melinda, has gotten together with some of his dear friends and fans to put together an evening open to everyone interested in sharing the love, and celebrating the bassist's life through music and friendship.

The bill for the evening features BLACKLIST UNION with Tony West, the ALICE IN CHAINS tribute band GRIND, SIN CIRCUS, Amanda J. Hardy, GARDEN OF EDEN and STEAL BEANS, plus a number of surprise guests.

Come check out some of Mike's personal, never-before-seen pictures and memorabilia, on display throughout the night, as well as honor this hometown hero with a righteous party.

Tickets are $10.00, available at www.etix.com.

Check out the Facebook event page.

Mike was found dead in a house in Salt Lake City, Utah on March 8, 2011. Starr, who was a founding member of ALICE IN CHAINS and played on its first two albums, was 44 years old. Police who were called to the scene said that foul play was not suspected, but that drugs were found near the body.

According to The Pulse Of Radio, Starr had struggled with drug problems for years and was dismissed from ALICE IN CHAINS in 1993 due to his addiction. He had been arrested numerous times over the years for DUI, reckless driving, and various drug charges in Los Angeles, Seattle and Salt Lake City. Just a month prior to his death, he was arrested for felony possession of a controlled substance in the latter city.

Starr was featured as a cast member of the third season of the VH1 reality series "Celebrity Rehab With Dr. Drew" in 2009. Hosted by Dr. Drew Pinsky, the season consisted of eight episodes that followed the real-life experiences of celebrity patients undergoing detoxification and treatment at the Pasadena Recovery Center. However, like fellow rocker participant Steven Adler of GUNS N' ROSES fame, Starr seemed to struggle once his season on the show was finished.

Friday, March 1, 2013

"It's A Baltimore Love Thing"

Wheww! The plane touched down in Baltimore, BWI an hour ago and me and Rob are taking a cab to Darrell's house now. We wanted to stop  by our usual area, Old Town Mall first so we had the first cab driver drop us off at Johns Hopkins then we walked to the Old Town Mall then got what we needed--Red Bull and Nautica heroin is still popular-Nautica being the best-there's probably better out somewhere-anyway so we are on the second cab on our way to Darrell. He lives off of York Road past Greenmount Avenue. This is the area we are in- just to give you a mental note. I remember going into that McDonald's all the time whenever Dre didn't allow me to go to his house to use. That sucked I hated it hahaha in the bathroom stalls, they didn't have anywhere I could put my dope to sniff it-so ugh I put it on the top of where you flush, that flat space on top-sick yes I know but shit I had to do something! And I wasn't gonna do it out on the sick for everyone to see. I'm sure after a while of me just going in there for a minute and then leave arouse some suspicion. So, that's all for today. These are the areas that we've been in or are going to today. Check us out, say hi if you see us around. I MIGHT be looking into a job on the Block.

Thursday, February 28, 2013

Baltimore Bound

I know it seem so all of the sudden, I know! Rob and I started talking the other day about going back to Baltimore, back to our roots and all of that and so we are. It's not as simple as that, I know...but that's why Rob's been working at the strip  club under the door, making twice the amount, so we can afford to go over there. I miss it there so much! We are planning on leaving tomorrow morning actually, we bought plane tickets this morning. We are arriving at BWI airport tomorrow afternoon/evening.

It's so cold there, it'll be such a refreshing reminder! I guess that's one way to put it. It's just that I've gone through so much, both alone and with others, on the West coast and I really miss it back East, and I knew that I would return to Baltimore one day. There's no reason for me to go anywhere else on the east coast other than Maryland.

I'll let you all know how the flight went and how everything goes once we are settled over there. Man, I'm really gonna miss Dre more when I'm over there than now-well, than I have been really. Being in those areas again are surely gonna bring up some shit, but I'm ready. I wanted to make sure that I was really ready before I did it, I made the trip.
There are some people there that I know still-like Dre's friend, Darrell. I remember the first and the last time I went to buy heroin with him. He's a big crack addict, he doesn't care for heroin but---man I just get so excited and giddy thinking about it!

So, that's the news, there ya go. This wasn't an out of the blue thought, trust me. This was well planned out. Well, we don't have to plan out much. Just how to afford the plane ticket and whom to stay with once we got over there but I mean the choice was simple, very simple. I've been all up and down on the west coast here. Seattle, LA, Hollywood, Palm Springs, etc...I'm ready...I'm ready. It's something I have to do. I know Rob really wants to go, I know he's been expressing he has been wanting to go for a while now, so it's time. This is the perfect time, perfect time for a good change. A change of scenery is not a bad idea! Especially when the scenery is Baltimore= heroin capital of the U.S. Oh, yea! I'm gonna go watch reruns of The Wire hahaha
BALTIMORE, here I/ We Come!!!!

Big Surprise!! Big Changes!!

Rob's roots started out in Baltimore. Mine did as well. So, actually, this is something I've been wanting to share with my blog readers for a few days now. I don't know why I hesitated to post anything earlier but there is a specific reasons why I changed the background and blog colors to the well known Baltimore colors of orange, black, and purple---me and Rob have been talking, and I've been having a lot of adventures for months now but I'm well, me and Rob, are about to have another adventure, of course, heroin related......
Me and Rob are.......moving to Baltimore! back to Balitmore rather. YAY!!! It's hard to say, I'm so happy, so excited!! I know it'll feel like home again. It'll be exciting to see those old people around there again, assuming they'll still be there. Ah, the Inner Harbor, Johns Hopkins hospital, the Block, the Old Town Mall, York Road, Greenmount Avenue, etc...It'll all be there, it's still there! Still on that roller coaster! Can't wait!

Today on- That Guy's On Heroin!

Occasionally I post a current photo/post on here from my favorvite Bmore/related site, thatguysonheroin.com
Today's -well, the more recent postings from that site are below!
______
Location: Light Street and Key Highway, Baltimore, MD
Rating: 3.5/5
Description: Two weeks ago this guy was finishing his cardiovascular surgery residency at Johns Hopkins when he decided to take the bus to work. That’s when Fanta convinced him he was taking his life entirely too seriously and in an attempt to lighten his approach on things he decided that recreational drug use was the right option.
Two weeks later he has yet to move from that bus stop, slipping in and out of an H soaked slumber. Yet another bright, gifted young man who traded a life of personal and financial success for the empty promises of a Fanta ad. More Fanta less serious indeed.
---
Location: Fells Point, Baltimore, MD
Rating: 2.8/5
Description: Oh no! Judging from his haircut this man must have been ejected from a flaming Nascar just slightly out of scene! This is a tragedy for Baltimore media - less people with mullets mean that there are less people to post blatantly racist comments on basically every Baltimore Sun online article, therefore giving people everywhere one less way to find out that minorities are ruining modern society when checking the weather.
While this is a sad day for Baltimore, I don’t like to focus only on the negative. That is a pretty sweet half-nelson this guy landed in. I feel if he could feel pain at that moment he’d really appreciate it more.
---
Location: Mt Washington Light Rail Stop, Baltimore, MD
Rating: 4.3/5
Description: This submission came complete with one of the most interesting back stories I’ve received to date, and not just because every word in the caption was capitalized:
So This Gem Was Waiting Next To Me At The Mt. Washington Lightrail Station This Afternoon, Around 3:30PM.  When I First Arrived, He Was Standing Upright, His Reading Material Held High To The Sky…Honestly, Made Me Wonder If He Just Needed Some More Reading Light Or Something.  A Minute Later, I Turned Around From Grabbing My Lightrail Ticket And Aforementioned Reading Material Was In The Process Of Falling To The Ground, Where He Steadily Continued To Lean Over Into An Almost Complete Toe Touch To Continue Reading This Gripping Article.  Yes, Points May Be Taken Away Due To His Needing To Lean Against The Lightrail Shelter To Stay Upright, But Let Us Remember, Baltimore Is “The City That Reads,” So At Least He Is Representing. 
I did take off one full point for the lean against the post, but he did earn some points back for gaining my utmost respect. While getting blasted at a transit stop is par for the course on this site, getting blasted at a transit stop and using your seven minutes of heaven to read up on the news is just straight class.
This guy is so desensitized to H that he’s actually BORED of being high and reading a magazine like he’s waiting for this to just be over so he can go out and score some real drugs for the night. He’s probably not even bending over because he’s high, he probably just throws his back out all the time from having to lug around those gigantic, drug-metabolizing balls.
---
Location: Charles Street and Lafayette Ave, Baltimore, MD
Rating: 2.2/5
Description: This is just sad. I mean think about how that kid is going to turn out, their mom is a total little bitch that can’t handle her smack. All it’s friends moms are rocking their belly bump to sleep as a counterbalance to a bad-ass junkie sway and here this kid is, stuck with it’s one-shot-before-bed, bitch-ass mom.
With any help Baltimore City social services will step in and do what they do best in these situations, place the kid in a group home where the kid will DEFINITELY learn how to shoot their smack the right way!

So much easier

dealing with a lot now. so much as changed since I returned to LA and yet so much has gotten easier. Well, how can that be you ask? well, I'm still living at Rob's apartment, he still works at the club and I am on another job hunt, as always, which only means one thing, just another way, any way, to get money for heroin, of course. Well I know it should mean more than that but I know that I should get a job so...yea.

Wednesday, February 20, 2013

Stronger than yesterday

I feel so much stronger since I returned to LA and left Palm Springs. I feel like a whole new, better person, even though of course I'm still talking and hanging out with Rob and still doing heroin, I still feel better. Rob got a new apartment on 7046 Hollywood Boulevard and I actually just moved into his place-it's a small, 2 bedroom place. It's something, and it works for us.

New Place-same life=only freer

I just moved in with Rob a few days ago. He rented a cheap apartment on W Hollywood Blvd and he just started working as a doorman weeknights at the Seventh Veil strip club on W Sunset Blvd so if you want to stop by and say hi to him, go ahead! I decided not to follow suit and work as a stripper again and I actually just started working at a diner as a waitress part time-just to help pay for my heroin and help pay his rent.

My family still doesn't know I'm back in LA. but that's okay because all I am happy about is that I'm not in shitty Palm Springs anymore and no longer around that nightmare creep of a guy, James. That's all I wanted! I will call them-at least I have a more respectful job now as a waitress and I'm not working as a stripper anymore. That's a plus! But I know they want me to fully get off heroin and live with them but I just cannot do that = especially since I am with Rob at his new apartment. The apartment is a piece of shit dump but I really am doing well and I'm happy.

New on, That Guy's On Heroin!

http://thatguysonheroin.com/
Location: Shot Tower Metro Station, President Street, Baltimore, MD
Rating: 4.1/5
Description: I like this submission, and not just because it explains where my bike went. I live in Baltimore I assume anything metal I leave outside will be zombie walked across town to scrap it for blast money. The great irony is that lugging a bike that distance doing the junkie shuffle actually pays less than a minimum wage job if you take all the naps into account.
This submission came with the following caption:
The bicycle is just leaning against him, he’s not using it to hold himself up in any way.  Made it through a whole traffic light cycle and he still hadn’t moved before we left.
I believe you on this one, and even added a tenth of a point for this guy having the balls to think he can ride a bike when most other people would be taken to the hospital. Of course, this is Baltimore, we aren’t most other people we pride ourselves on doing all kinds of crazy shit on smack, like biking, working, voting or running for and winning the 9th city council district.

Monday, February 11, 2013

A lot going on!

whew! everything is so fast paced! I'm back in the LA area and loving it. My family actually doesn't know I'm back but-thats fine...im just not ready to see them yet. I went to visit Rob...we actually drove to Dre's grave yesterday. That was big for me.

Wednesday, February 6, 2013

Fighting to stay alive

This is almost too much for me. I'm seriously fighting to stay alive. Fighting for my life. Things didn't go as planned, let's just say that.....
James found out through the grapevine about me thinking about moving back to LA and he didn't take it too well. He begged for me to stay-I truly got a chance to see what a loser he is-and how he'll go to any length to get what he wants and keep me right where he wants me-in his own prison of porn......sick ...truly, this is sick-why did I run away??? Why did I leave my family?? I had it so good, too good. That was the problem! Well, no matter what I am getting out of here and going back home!! When words wouldn't work, James ended up grabbing my arm, bruising it when  I tried to walk away. Nothing is good enough for him. I'm stranded on this island with absolutely no help, no support whatsoever....so what now? I still have the plane ticket-I bought that yesterday......I'm keeping it in a safe spot where he can't find it. I'm sure you're wondering, why did I tell one someone of my plans to leave the area if I don't want anyone to try and stop me? Well, that's where my naive nature comes in; I was dumb, I told...I guess I wanted someone to know. I should know not to trust these women by now. Hello, I know they work closely with James to try and make sure I don't leave....I know what's going on now...they are trying to keep me here..James is so damn intent on trying to keep me for his work because his other girls are getting too old-by porn standards- and here I am ,fresh meat-let's just say this honestly, I know that's how they think.......

Monday, February 4, 2013

LA Woman

I am returning to the LA area in about 3 days! I ended up getting paid for the photos and movie I did so that was just enough to buy a one way plane ticket to LA. I'm not telling the guys I live with or James or anybody. I can't risk getting stuck here in Palm Springs and losing the opportunity that I have worked so hard, too hard to get going with.
I have been here for way too long. It's been what......a month, more than a month. I'm ready to go. I think about the people I knew there and what's going on. Probably nothing different is happening but I know it's where I belong and I miss it there. I really do. So, once I realized that I had enough money-James paid me the other day for all the work I did- I knew that I had to take the chance and get the hell out of here.

Thursday, January 31, 2013

How it all began

Recently I've been thinking back to when I first started this blog and how my addiction started and looking now at where I am, the mess I'm in and how back it has gotten. It's like night and day to me. I guess it's not a total change, but, I mean, I guess I was headed here eventually. Heroin only takes you one place right?

New Picture from blog, That Guy's On Heroin

http://thatguysonheroin.com/
Location: #8 Bus, Baltimore, MD
Rating: Honorable Mention
Description: This #8 bus line, or the Crazy Eight as it is affectionately called by the locals, was recently named the best retail on wheels by the city paper.
If you are like most Americans and view “retail” as the sale of legal products or services for legal tender you may be completely disappointed by this “retail on wheels” bullshit the city paper is selling. If instead you’re like me and read it as “this is a great place to pick up banged-up, aging hookers who will charge by the tooth, and low-grade blow (get it now… the crazy eight…)” then you’re probably closer to reality.
Unfortunately I’d feel like I was cheating rating this one because the angle of the shot leads to more questions than answers. Is he smacked out? Drunk? Tired? Just got his ass whooped by epic beard man? We may never know, but whatever the case this guy could really use a pick-me-up, and from my experience he’s on the right bus!

Tuesday, January 29, 2013

The Needle And The Damage Done ~ Neil Young

I caught you knockin'
At my cellar door
I love you, baby,
Can I have some more
Ooh, ooh, the damage done.

I hit the city and
I lost my band
I watched the needle
Take another man
Gone, gone, the damage done.

I sing the song
Because I love the man
I know that some
Of you don't understand
Milk-blood
To keep from running out.

I've seen the needle
And the damage done
A little part of it in everyone
But every junkie's
Like a settin' sun.

Fall To Pieces ~ Velvet Revolver

Its been a long year since you've been gone
I've been alone here I've grown old
I fall to pieces, I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling
Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

I keep a journal of memories
I'm feeling lonely I can't breathe
I fall to pieces I'm falling
Fell to pieces and I'm still falling
Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces
Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

All the years I've tried
With more to go
Will the memories die
I'm waiting
Will I find you
Can I find you
We're falling down
I'm falling

Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces
Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces
Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces
Every time I'm falling down
All alone I fall to pieces

A Junkie's Lament ~ James Taylor

Ricky's been kicking the gong
Lickety split didn't take too long
A junkie's sick
A monkey's strong
That's what's wrong

Well, I guess he's been messing around downtown
So sad to see the man losing ground
Winding down behind closed doors
On all fours

Mama, don't you call him my name
He can't hear you anymore
And even if he seems the same to you
That's a stranger to your door
Ask him what's he come here for

Oh my god, a monkey can move a man
[A Junkie's Lament lyrics on http://www.metrolyrics.com]Send him to hell
And home again
With an empty hand in the afternoon
Shooting for the moon

It's halfway sick
And it's halfway stoned
He'd sure like to kick
But it's too far gone
They wind him down with the methadone
He's all on his own

But baby, don't you throw your love away
I hate to seem unkind
It's only that I understand the man
That the monkey can leave behind
I used to think he was a friend of mine

A Baltimore Love Thing~ 50 Cent

She loves me, she loves me not
Yeah she loves me not

The fiends need me, I ain't around it, bones ache
Detox, rehab, cold sweat, watch 'em shake
I'm not that genie in a bottle, I'm in a bag
Take one hit, I slide off to the land of the H man

When we first met, I thought you'd never doubt me
Now you tryin' leave me, you'll never live without me
Girl, I'm missin' you, come and see me soon
Tie your arm up, put that lighter under that spoon

Now put that needle to ya arm princess, stick it in
Relapse you fat bitch, don't ever try that again
All that shit I did for you, I made you feel good
We have a love thing, you treatin' this like it's just a fling

What we have is more sacred than a vow or a ring
You broke my heart, you dirty bitch I won't forget what you did
If you give birth, I'll already be in love with your kids
Listen, I don't give a damn if your ass start smokin'
But we have a bond and it's not to be broken

We got a love thing where you try to leave me
But you need me, can't you see you're addicted to me?
We got a love thing, I can take you higher girl
Fuckin' with me, you can be all you can be

We got a love thing where you try to leave me
But you need me, can't you see you're addicted to me?
We got a love thing, I can take you higher girl
Fuckin' with me, you can be all you can be

Baby you know, on the low your sister be eyein' me
I'm good lookin', so you know, sure she be tryin' me
I heard she bisexual, she fuck with that girl
But boy, oh boy, fuckin' wit me is a whole 'nother world

After that first night, she fall in love, then chased a feelin'
I hung out with Marvin when he wrote 'Sexual Healing'
Kurt Cobain even good friends, Ozzy Osbourne too
I be with rock stars, see you lucky I'm fuckin' with you

I chill with Frankie Lyman and Jimmy Hendrix crew
See this is new to you, but to me this ain't new
I live a lavished life, listen if the mood is right
Me, you, and your sister can do the do tonight

I never steer you wrong, you're hyper I make ya calm
I be the incentive and reason for you to move forward
Let's make a date, promise me you'll come and see me
Even if it means you have to sell ya mama's TV
I love you, love me back, no one said lovin' me'd be easy

We got a love thing where you try to leave me
But you need me, can't you see you're addicted to me?
We got a love thing, I can take you higher girl
Fuckin' with me, you can be all you can be

We got a love thing where you try to leave me
But you need me, can't you see you're addicted to me?
We got a love thing, I can take you higher girl
Fuckin' with me, you can be all you can be

I love you, I got you barefooted on glass, chasin' a dove
That monkey on your back, symbolizes my love
Your friends talk bad about me bitch, you sit there and listen to 'em
Over and over you hurt me, my love is unconditional

They talk to you when you up, you down they got nothin' to say
But when you call, I'll come runnin', I'll always take the pain away
They set you up, to let you down, they crowned you prom queen
Fiddle about me behind your back, they call you a fuckin' fiend

Can we just be alone, so I can kiss and hug you?
Plus me beside you, no other man can loves you like I do
Call me daddy, I'll make you feel good, I mean real good
I found pleasure in pleasin' you, like a real man should

It was written long before, it was carved in a tree
Forever me and you baby we were meant to be
There's more to life than laughter, what brought us together was fate
And we'll be hand in hand, when you walk through those Pearly Gates
And to see to that, I'ma do whatever it takes

We got a love thing where you try to leave me
But you need me, can't you see you're addicted to me?
We got a love thing, I can take you higher girl
Fuckin' with me, you can be all you can be

We got a love thing where you try to leave me
But you need me, can't you see you're addicted to me?
We got a love thing, I can take you higher girl
Fuckin' with me, you can be all you can be

Heroin Poetry

I miss again...
Dammit!
When will I finally feel it?
Shadows dance around me,
But they are not my own.
I'm tired.
I'm too tired for this.

Finally, success!
Pinprick.
Dancing in the dark.
A smile is painted across my face.
What a face it is, a wretched face.
Face the desperation that lies ahead....
Orgasm, screaming vultures. 

Monday, January 28, 2013

Today's Agenda

Call James-fully try and wake up and try to ignore those two I am still forced to live with. You know, I've been in this area for a while and I haven't see the area or gone shopping. I eventually really want to get on that.

Heroin News of the Day= New hope for addicts

http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html
School of Pharmacy faculty member Christopher R. McCurdy has made it his mission to find and develop compounds to unlock the shackles that bind people to addictive drugs. "A lot of people who become addicted to methamphetamine, cocaine or even heroin truly want to quit," McCurdy said. "They begin with recreational use and don't think they will become addicted, but (they) soon get to the point where they almost must take the drug to survive, because withdrawal is so intense." Making withdrawal more endurable – and therefore, cessation more likely – is the goal of several projects in McCurdy's medicinal chemistry laboratory. Among them is a National Institutes of Health Centers of Biomedical Research Excellence-funded study of kratom, a botanical mixture derived from Mitragyna speciosa, a treelike plant native to Southeast Asia. (COBRE grants are awarded by the NIH's National Institute of General Medical Sciences through its Institutional Development Award, or IDeA, program, which builds research capabilities in states that historically have had low levels of NIH funding.)

Read more at: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html#jCp
School of Pharmacy faculty member Christopher R. McCurdy has made it his mission to find and develop compounds to unlock the shackles that bind people to addictive drugs. "A lot of people who become addicted to methamphetamine, cocaine or even heroin truly want to quit," McCurdy said. "They begin with recreational use and don't think they will become addicted, but (they) soon get to the point where they almost must take the drug to survive, because withdrawal is so intense." Making withdrawal more endurable – and therefore, cessation more likely – is the goal of several projects in McCurdy's medicinal chemistry laboratory. Among them is a National Institutes of Health Centers of Biomedical Research Excellence-funded study of kratom, a botanical mixture derived from Mitragyna speciosa, a treelike plant native to Southeast Asia. (COBRE grants are awarded by the NIH's National Institute of General Medical Sciences through its Institutional Development Award, or IDeA, program, which builds research capabilities in states that historically have had low levels of NIH funding.)

Read more at: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html#jCp
School of Pharmacy faculty member Christopher R. McCurdy has made it his mission to find and develop compounds to unlock the shackles that bind people to addictive drugs. "A lot of people who become addicted to methamphetamine, cocaine or even heroin truly want to quit," McCurdy said. "They begin with recreational use and don't think they will become addicted, but (they) soon get to the point where they almost must take the drug to survive, because withdrawal is so intense." Making withdrawal more endurable – and therefore, cessation more likely – is the goal of several projects in McCurdy's medicinal chemistry laboratory. Among them is a National Institutes of Health Centers of Biomedical Research Excellence-funded study of kratom, a botanical mixture derived from Mitragyna speciosa, a treelike plant native to Southeast Asia. (COBRE grants are awarded by the NIH's National Institute of General Medical Sciences through its Institutional Development Award, or IDeA, program, which builds research capabilities in states that historically have had low levels of NIH funding.)

Read more at: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html#jCp
January 28, 2013 by Barbara Lago in Addiction It doesn't take a rocket scientist to quickly grasp what a University of Mississippi professor's research could mean to the millions of people addicted to hardcore narcotics such as heroin, cocaine, methamphetamine and morphine.

Read more at: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html#jCp
January 28, 2013 by Barbara Lago in Addiction It doesn't take a rocket scientist to quickly grasp what a University of Mississippi professor's research could mean to the millions of people addicted to hardcore narcotics such as heroin, cocaine, methamphetamine and morphine.

Read more at: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html#jCp
January 28, 2013 by Barbara Lago in Addiction It doesn't take a rocket scientist to quickly grasp what a University of Mississippi professor's research could mean to the millions of people addicted to hardcore narcotics such as heroin, cocaine, methamphetamine and morphine.

Read more at: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html#jCp
January 28, 2013 by Barbara Lago in Addiction It doesn't take a rocket scientist to quickly grasp what a University of Mississippi professor's research could mean to the millions of people addicted to hardcore narcotics such as heroin, cocaine, methamphetamine and morphine.

Read more at: http://medicalxpress.com/news/2013-01-addicts.html#jCp

In desperate need of $$$

Well this just takes the cake. This shit is ridiculous. I'm out of money. How the hell did that happen?? Well, what do you think? I'm totally depleted. It's as if my money is totally-well-it isn't as if, it IS true that I'm poor. Piss poor-fucking sucks. All because of drugs, well shit and you know, you think I'd be a rich bitch with all these things I'm doing for James and his company-the movie and the calendar and other shit but NO-NO well, I just have really bad spending habits. He doesn't pay me THAT much you know. Where else did it go? Where is all my new stuff?? hell if I know!

Salt Lake City Stalker

I'm pretty sure it's linked to someone viewing my blog but thy also tried to get into my email. Not cool! You look like an idiot!

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

Recommended Reading

Heroin-related fiction and non fiction books recommended by me-

*Heroin by Julie O'Toole (May 8, 2008)-Julie grew up in the heart of Dublin’s north inner city, in Sheriff Street. Living in this tough area, she was exposed to crime and drugs. She started using heroin when she was 16. By the time she was 18 she was a chronic addict. This story details how she spent the next four years living on the streets of Dublin; dealing drugs and stealing to feed her habit. It is a snapshot of how a young girl became a victim of circumstances. It happened in Dublin, but it could have happened anywhere in the world. Her life was saved by a chance encounter with a drugs counsellor who brought her to first to London, and then to America where she de-toxed and slowly began to rebuild her life.

*BOOKS BY TONY O'NEILL=

Digging the Vein's= unnamed narrator has a problem: He has a burgeoning drug habit and a wife he's only known for two days, but no job, no money, and no way out. As the narrator's life crumbles, the pills, booze, and problems multiply until he hits on a brilliant solution: heroin. Soon the narrator is associating with a cabal of street freaks. Just as the comedy is piling up, things go sour, making Digging the Vein a brutal look at a self-destructed, marginal life.

Down and Out on Murder Mile=After exhausting their resources in the slums of Los Angeles, a junkie and his wife settle in London's "murder mile," the city's most violent and criminally corrupt section. Persevering past failed treatments, persistent temptation, urban ennui, and his wife's ruinous death wish, the nameless narrator fights to reclaim his life. 

SICK CITY=Meet Jeffrey and Randal, two desperate junkies and your guides on this top-to-bottom fun-house tour of Hollywood's underbelly. From infamous crime scenes to celebrity treatment centers, Sick City is an outrageous page-turning adventure set in the sun-bleached wilds of LA. 

*The Heroin Diaries:  Year in the Life of a Shattered Rock Star by Nikki Sixx (Sep 18, 2007)-

In one of the most unique memoirs of addiction ever published, Mötley Crüe's Nikki Sixx shares mesmerizing diary entries from the year he spiraled out of control in a haze of heroin and cocaine, presented alongside riveting commentary from people who were there at the time, and from Nikki himself.When Mötley Crüe was at the height of its fame, there wasn't any drug Nikki Sixx wouldn't do. He spent days -- sometimes alone, sometimes with other addicts, friends, and lovers -- in a coke and heroin-fueled daze. The highs were high, and Nikki's journal entries reveal some euphoria and joy. But the lows were lower, often ending with Nikki in his closet, surrounded by drug paraphernalia and wrapped in paranoid delusions.
*Beauty Queen by  Linda Glovach-creates a likable, believable character in Samantha: we recognize her humanity as a girl genuinely troubled by her mother's alcoholism (as well as by her mom's lascivious boyfriend); we feel the unconditional love she harbors for her diabetic Maine coon cat; we shake our heads as her greed for money and flippant attitude about her addiction cause Sam to make naive decisions. As Sam spirals further downward--still unaware of how far gone she really is, even though she can't complete a journal entry without shooting up--readers will feel the remorse of what could have been, and may learn a valuable lesson in the processteenager, writing in her diary about an ex-boyfriend: "I will never fall in love again, never, ever! Why is life so cruel? Why do people like to hurt each other?" But a mere three months later--after moving into her own apartment, taking a job as a topless dancer, and becoming addicted to heroin--her tone takes on that of a grizzled drug abuser: "I've been shooting in my bony hip area... toward my groin, so no one can detect the needle points on my rear when I wear my G-string, and I'm getting terribly numb there." Samantha's story is told entirely in the form of her journal entries, which vividly reflect this young woman's rapid descent into the seedy world of addiction. Author Linda Glovach creates a likable, believable character in Samantha: we recognize her humanity as a girl genuinely troubled by her mother's alcoholism (as well as by her mom's lascivious boyfriend); we feel the unconditional love she harbors for her diabetic Maine coon cat; we shake our heads as her greed for money and flippant attitude about her addiction cause Sam to make naive decisions. As Sam spirals further downward--still unaware of how far gone she really is, even though she can't complete a journal entry without shooting up--readers will feel the remorse of what could have been, and may learn a valuable lesson in the process.

Beauty Queen by Linda Glovach (Sep 19, 1998)

Beauty Queen by Linda Glovach (Sep 19, 1998)

Beauty Queen by Linda Glovach (Sep 19, 1998)

Beauty Queen by Linda Glovach (Sep 19, 1998)

Beauty Queen by Linda Glovach (Sep 19, 1998)Beauty Queen by Linda Glovach.