Today's -well, the more recent postings from that site are below!
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Rating: 3.5/5
Description: Two weeks ago this guy was finishing his cardiovascular surgery residency at Johns Hopkins when he decided to take the bus to work. That’s when Fanta convinced him he was taking his life entirely too seriously and in an attempt to lighten his approach on things he decided that recreational drug use was the right option.
Two weeks later he has yet to move from that bus stop, slipping in and out of an H soaked slumber. Yet another bright, gifted young man who traded a life of personal and financial success for the empty promises of a Fanta ad. More Fanta less serious indeed.
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Rating: 2.8/5
Description: Oh no! Judging from his haircut this man must have been ejected from a flaming Nascar just slightly out of scene! This is a tragedy for Baltimore media - less people with mullets mean that there are less people to post blatantly racist comments on basically every Baltimore Sun online article, therefore giving people everywhere one less way to find out that minorities are ruining modern society when checking the weather.
While this is a sad day for Baltimore, I don’t like to focus only on the negative. That is a pretty sweet half-nelson this guy landed in. I feel if he could feel pain at that moment he’d really appreciate it more.
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Rating: 4.3/5
Description: This submission came complete with one of the most interesting back stories I’ve received to date, and not just because every word in the caption was capitalized:
So This Gem Was Waiting Next To Me At The Mt. Washington Lightrail Station This Afternoon, Around 3:30PM. When I First Arrived, He Was Standing Upright, His Reading Material Held High To The Sky…Honestly, Made Me Wonder If He Just Needed Some More Reading Light Or Something. A Minute Later, I Turned Around From Grabbing My Lightrail Ticket And Aforementioned Reading Material Was In The Process Of Falling To The Ground, Where He Steadily Continued To Lean Over Into An Almost Complete Toe Touch To Continue Reading This Gripping Article. Yes, Points May Be Taken Away Due To His Needing To Lean Against The Lightrail Shelter To Stay Upright, But Let Us Remember, Baltimore Is “The City That Reads,” So At Least He Is Representing.
I did take off one full point for the lean against the post, but he did earn some points back for gaining my utmost respect. While getting blasted at a transit stop is par for the course on this site, getting blasted at a transit stop and using your seven minutes of heaven to read up on the news is just straight class.
This guy is so desensitized to H that he’s actually BORED of being high and reading a magazine like he’s waiting for this to just be over so he can go out and score some real drugs for the night. He’s probably not even bending over because he’s high, he probably just throws his back out all the time from having to lug around those gigantic, drug-metabolizing balls.
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Rating: 2.2/5
Description: This is just sad. I mean think about how that kid is going to turn out, their mom is a total little bitch that can’t handle her smack. All it’s friends moms are rocking their belly bump to sleep as a counterbalance to a bad-ass junkie sway and here this kid is, stuck with it’s one-shot-before-bed, bitch-ass mom.
With any help Baltimore City social services will step in and do what they do best in these situations, place the kid in a group home where the kid will DEFINITELY learn how to shoot their smack the right way!
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