Demri Lara Parrott forever

http://www.findagrave.com/cgi-bin/fg.cgi?page=gr&GRid=12669330

I guess I"m one of the lucky ones

I called my mom an hour ago and ask her if she could pick me up. I caved in, I got weak. I just am so sick of bumming around this shit city, starving myself and fucking for dope money. She takes me in everytime. Maybe she's an enabler, who cares. Now that I have internet access at my fingertips I'm doing to post as many entries as I can. Clearly the only way I'm able to get online at all is when I'm at Dre's house or a library. In case some of you were wondering that's where I post this journal online thing, at the local public library. I don't have a computer on the streets of course...Ms. Carl the library assistant lets me sit there all day on that computer if it's raining or when I feel the need for some kind of human bond. My room here in my parent's house is the same. Same paint on the wall, same pictures, bed neatly made, waiting for me. Strange. I've changed so much but my surroundings haven't.

Same Mistakes

How does anyone even change anyway? Years of doing things and living life one way, even though you knew it was the wrong was, was comforting. I'm still rushing into wanting to be with some guy, ignoring the red flags and wanting to be with them anyway. I'll never change..... I was just talking to a friend of mine, Mike and he said that I don't need to be with anyone now and all I need to deal with is my own life and sobriey. He's right. I know exactly what it is about me that I need to change, but it's hard to actually make the change and do the work. Of course it's hard for anyone, most positve things are hard to do, but it's those hard things that are a must in order to survive and grow as a person.
For several hours tonight I walked up and down Colorado bvld. where I normally hang around. It was different this time for some reason. I passed all different people just had time to think for myself. before returning to where I live I went into a bar that I went to
 with Zach lastnight. Zach, the one that hurt me, let me down gently. I wasn't surprised at all. I ignored the warnings and red flags other people had pointed out to me about him and once again I went too fast and expected more out of him that he ever wanted to give and today he said that he doesn't like me that way and you know. I always go after low people-and try to save or help them. Why do I want to be with guys that have visible issues? From the very first bf up until the last one, I repeated the same mistakes-picked out someone with issues, jumped into being with them too fast, got physical too soon, then it ended with me wanting more and more and them backing away. Good to see nothing's changed. At least I'm consistant...........

First Entry In My Blog Ever: "Welcome To My Nightmare"

[This is when it all began. The following is the very first entry in my blog here.]

My name is Scarlett and I'm a heroin addict. I have been keeping a diary in so far, 4, spiral notebooks. I have decided to transfer them to my blog online here.
I've been an alcoholic for about 14 years, pills for about 12 years and I have been, regretfully, a heroin addict for the past 8 months, a year coming this late August/September.
What a hellish journey it has been. Actually, within about 3 months of using things were already steadily falling apart.
I started using for typical reasons. Heroin truly has this glamorization attached to it. I became mentally obsessed and addicted to H years before I ever touched it. I didn't even really know much about it, all I knew was that I wanted it.
So follow me, if you dare, as I let you into my life, my obsession, and my hell. Buckle up! It sure as hell is a bumpy ride!
What made you want to read my blog in the first place? Are you a fellow addict? Are you homeless too? Then you must understand how I feel. If you are a parent of an addict, I am giving  you a possible glimpse of what your child is up to and what they may be dealing with.

is anybody out there?

I'm glad to see that my entries are starting to get noticed and read again. There was a while there that no one was reading or commenting. I really enjoy posting my experiences and all on here.

this song is stuck in my head. Runaway Train by Soul Asylum

Scary Late night street experience

Me and my friend Vanessa, had this homeless guy followed us for a few blocks and this other guy got involved and ended up fistfighting the drunk man and we called the cops. I left when the cops came. I know, well I THINK I know, I have my parents looking for me again so I don't wanna get into that shit.

Much needed distraction

I have to get out of Hollyweird

Sunset In the 80s

Sunset is nothing like it used to be. That's what brought me out here you know..........

I think his secret hero is Alexander Supertramp

Zach= that's his name, the guy I went out with the other night and today.I met him when I was introduced by a girl I know around here. I don't see her much but me and him started talking more. I think his secret hero is Alexander Supertramp from the movie Into The Wild about Chris McCandless. That's not surprising. Chris lived the same life as us I suppose.
Alexander Supertramp Tribute 

All these memories

I think back to my life when I was wasn't homeless, when I lived with my parents. Life was so much easier, so much safer. Now I spend my days trying to score dope, hustle money from people, fearing nuts. I feel so unstable.

Singles, the movie

I love that movie. I haven't seen it in years but I love the fashions.