New year, same shit. Wow, that's a great way to start the new year, with a negative attitude.I really don't like it here in Palm Springs anymore. Surprisingly, I miss being home, my family, L.A. Why the change? These guys I've been with are really just old, bloated, up to no good losers. I had a moment of clarity. I saw outside myself. I saw outside looking in. I was looking at a lost, unhappy girl who just wanted to be loved. I saw her wasting her life away, wasting her time, mind, talents. Only I don't know what to do for her. I don't even know where to begin. The girl I saw was me, is me. I don't like myself very much. I don't care for the company I've been keeping the last few months either. Yet this drug has such a strong hold on me, I don't even know where to begin. I'm so far away from home, I don't even know how to get home. I don't have any money on me after I bought 2 weeks worth of coke off that guy from the liquor store we've been hanging out with. I don't even like coke. I haven't done heroin in a few days because we ran out. We don't know anyone that sells that around here either.
We moved from the motel we were staying at since we got here. We rented a basement apartment from the liquor store guy. We is only charging us $100.00 in rent, which to me is still too much to pay for this "basement", this ramshackle piece of shit place.
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