Groundhog day

I worked the over night shift at the club last night. I was invited to stay at the apartment of another woman that dances at the same club. I'm glad I wasn't too proud to turn down her offer because i really need a place to stay. Ever since Dre was taken from me, I had the streets to call home again. I was used to that, sure, but I was sick of it. I wanted a break from it for once. So I'm at this woman's house now. She's still sleeping so I hopped on my blog. I haven't heard from Rob. I called his phone several times but didn't get an answer. He used to disappear for days at a time. Sometimes he'd wander into another town, sometimes he just wanted to be alone. I swear, I'm so sick of this town, I'm sick of my life. I was thinking of going to the book store. The other day I was re reading a few pages from the book Go Ask Alice. I always enjoyed that book and recently I have been feeling very close to Alice, whoever she was. Whether it was a true story or not, I could still relate. I so badly wish I could get my shit together, quit heroin for GOOD and just be a good girl and move back in with my parent's. Why can't I? Why am I being so damn difficult? Well, addicts like chaos, I know, but still! Enough is enough. It's been more than enough for several months now. I hate using the needle now because I have so many bruises and track marks and shit. I absolutely hate this. I was thinking of going back on my own the the rehab I went to before but I don't have the guts to actually follow through with it, I guess.