End of my 4 week heroin sobriety

Well I went back to the Devil again. I bought 2 pills of heroin from Rob today. I first met with Angie, my friend that sells me xanax, after a job interview today, and after my interview I went to Angie's house. While there, I met a heroin dealer from New York. He is a friend of Angie's boyfriend. This NY dealer came to Maryland a week ago to try and build connections with users and dealers. Since I told Angie I did/do heroin a while back, she put me in touch with this guy. Basically what he wanted was for me to give him a list of names/friends of other heroin users but all I know are Rob, Dre and Rob's friend Jeff. Just because I do H doesn't mean I know other people or have this long list of user friends. Angie assumed I knew a lot of people that this NY dealer could sell to but nope. So it was a waste of gas and time or me to meet this guy and so for my time the dealer gave me gas money-how nice- and Angie gave me 2 xanaxs.

Then I met up with Rob and bought 2 capsules of heroin. It's good but not that strong. I have a slight euphoric feeling but.....honestly, it's not as strong as when I very first started-so I kind of feel guilty for getting it. Rob told me to not do as much as I left off doing because that is how people OD but so silly me did almost a whole 1 pill and took it with a xanax............ :( 

Anyway so after tonight I am not doing any more, even though I have more-because I think I might end up having to do a drug test for this new job that I interviewed for. Thank GOD I got the job because I REALLY need to be employed and be able to pay my bills. Just to be able to pay this last bill I had to sell a really nice emerald ring I own. So, whether I do H or not, I still struggle financially to pay my bills but I know that spending my money on H really isn't helping.

Honestly, the feeling isn't as strong as I thought it would be. I quit for about 4 weeks-and so I did it just only about...an hour ago and I still don't feel that great of a feeling or that strong of a high.......this totally just cements that I really have no interest in H anymore. I don't. It's boring. It's not doing it for me. I still just -it's pointless......thankfully I only got 2 and didn't decide to buy more.

So I'm be totally fine never doing it again. Actually, I really think that I could do it casually because I don't care for it that much-so I really know I wouldn't go overboard again.