July 15, 2012
Today I went to my friend's house from high school, Mary Beth, and did her hair. I also did her grandmother's hair, haircut, and her friends color. Mary Beth got a cut and color. All together I earned $70.00! Feels good to earn money the RIGHT WAY other than from stripping and being trashy and guilty in the end. I got way more than I thought. I charged $15 for each thing but each person ended up paying me more than that so I came out with more. That'll help me pay my bills. So that's what I did today. Yesterday I went to school. It truly feels good to do the right thing. It felt good to go where I said I was going instead of lying like I have been for months. What I would do sometimes is tell my mom I'm going to school when I would really be going into the city to get H. That's not nice, to lie like that. I guess the few things I do like about AA/NA is when they say "One day at a time" and talk about doing the right thing and living the right way....it really does feel good to earn trust and respect again. I haven't done any heroin or xanax since early this past week so probably not for 3 or so days. I thankfully haven't gotten any withdrawal feelings. I got high on half a suboxone strip last night. You know, this really isn't easy. Opiate addiction is the hardest to get out of. I pray it stays this way; I pray that don't continue to go into day sober. I was totally sober today and you know, it felt good. It feels SO GOOD to remove that giant weight from your conscience. Sobriety isn't just about health-it's about finally living a good life and being a good person. Not lying, stealing, etc.
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