Published Book

July 16, 2012

I would love to turn my journal here into a book. A fiction book where I include these blog entries as well as interview those I came in contact with. Well, maybe not a blatant interview but just a one on one for those to get a better sense and idea of how addiction and the world in it really plays out. The dealers, users, pushers, strippers, etc-all of the people I have met in my journey through my heroin addiction. I guess I can say that as of today, I am about 5 days sober. Honestly, I still want to stay sober. I go back and forth though. I don't entirely want to quit but then again no addict would want to quit if they never went through negative consequences. Why would they? The only reason people do quit is because things happen. So today I went to school for about 3 hours. I'm about to watch the season finale, well finale totally, of The Closer. I got into the show after watching one episode at Dre's house. See, everything has to do with those I have met in addiction haha

The last time I talked to Dre was last Friday. So I am hoping he calls again. He said he would. He just needs to get his phone working again. I know he cares. Rob doesn't call to ask how I am. He never calls to see if I'm alive or not. But Dre does. Dre cares. I have a bill to pay and I only need 20 more dollars to pay it and it's due early next month so honestly, after that gets paid off, I may end up buying more dope or suboxone or whatever......I can't sit here and say I'll never touch it again but...BUT I KNOW that if I touch it again, I'll get hooked again and I"ll end up where I left off, or worst. If I can soberly understand the consequences, then so be it.