July 11, 12
My life is getting worst. The decisions I'm making are getting poorer. Last night I danced at a couple of local strip clubs. I officially sold my soul and morals and I feel absolutely guilty and awful. I was in one of the most dangerous, trashy areas and I got taken advantage of so fast........I look so damn naive.
My mom found out this morning what I had been up to. She found the lingerie I danced in and several business cards from a few clubs. I can't begin to tell you how lucky I am to not have gotten killed or raped. Honestly I'm glad my mom caught me. I believe in things being meant to be and God did not want me going down that awful path. I told Rob what I had done and he wasn't happy either. He used to work at the door and guard at several of those clubs I went to. He worked there years ago and he knows how dangerous it is and he told me that I am worth more than that. I just wish I believed it.
I swear all I want to do and all I think about is heroin. The other day I took heroin,xanax, and suboxones at once. I can barely remember one day to the next. My life is ending fast if I don't get serious....
Rob and me won't ever quit heroin but we won't allow it to get out of control. Things got awful for months and I can't let it continue. Dre was mad that I did that deadly mixture of drugs too. He is so mad he won't take my calls......Things are really bad now. I need help.
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